Formula for a Lost Tourist

Due to some severe complications with my ticket to the Galapagos, I had to make a pain-in-the ass trip to Quito to get it all squared away (which is a 6 hour bus ride). I am in the station waiting for my bus (which doesnt leave for three hours) to arrive, and decided I´d kill some time with an entry, because I am unfortunately addicted to the internet.


Despite having to leave at 3 in the morning to fix this crap, I have had a pretty adventurous day and its only noon. I am amazed at the friendliness of people here and have come up with a fool-proof formula for getting assistance when you need it:

Big Doe Eyes + Sweet High-Pitched Voice + "Muchas, Muchas Gracias" = Help (Big Breasts Optional)

Maybe a bit less creepy than this.

Now, you may think that you dont need all these things to get assistance. But I assure you, you do. I arrived to Quito at God-Knows-Where and had to ask several people to help me get aaaaalllll the way across town before I even knew that it WAS across town. With this free formula, everyone took great pity on me and walked me to the buses, waited with me so I would get the correct one, called me "mi amor" "mi hija" "mi niña" "dulce," etc. and saved me at least $15 in taxi fare (the whole trip costed $0.50 via the buses). For truly the first time, today I felt like I was really traveling and not some weak tourist dependent on the convenience of a taxi.

The taxi drivers here BLOW. They manipulate, rob, jip, rape, pillage, and burn. They´re a bunch o´ bullies, so much so that even Ecuadorians hate them, and they honk, and honk, and honk, and honk, and honk. I have literally been four inches away from being plowed down by one of them. I once saw an old man crossing the street when a taxi nearly hit him at a slow speed, and he balled up his hands with rage and bashed them forcefully on the trunk of the car. The taxi slowed down and looked angrily out his window but the glower of the old man was so intense the driver wisely moved on. Honestly, I was kind of hoping for a hoedown, but Ecuadorian crime is mostly nonviolent. GO VIEJO! 


And yeah, that´s the end of that.

Big Bugs/Sad Faces

Being a proud Oregonian, it is difficult for me to admit that Ecuador can exceed the beauty of my home state. Flat land all but exists here. The mountains that pierce the sky are blanketed in patches of green like quiltwork, signifying territory of individual farming land. In Quito, where the city almost touches the sky, a opaque mist can be seen over their peaks as a constant fog rolls over them, but in the jungle, the hills surf like ocean waves from the base of the mountains as trees and foliage of all types explode on their emerald shore. Yes, it is this breathtaking.

I arrived to the jungle with my giant military backpack. I had been excited about it because it had been so cheap, but then everyone stared at me and a thought occured that I might be considered a terrorist. I was saddned, because I believed it to be such a cheap backpack, but then my travel buddy told me she had gotten hers at REI for $30. So it goes.

There are so many bugs here. Some of gigantic porportions, like butterflies that have wings adorned with what look like huge, unblinking eyes, to large ebony spiders whose creeping black legs cause me to wail like a lost child. The insects perform an opera of chirps in the night, and something about it is extremely comforting, a constant reminder of macroscopic life cooing me to sleep. 

The other day a young child approached me on the street with huge eyes brimming with tears. He asked me, "¿tienes modera para comer?" I hadn't heard this grammar spoken before and wondered to myself if he had spoken incorrectly, when his miserable face alerted me to the despondency of his request. I tried to lie and tell him I didn't have cash money, when his little friend came to his rescue because apparently his face wasn't manipulative enough. He had a little metal crate filled with shoe polish, and he asked me if I wanted a shine. I looked down at my feet. I was wearing tennis shoes. I stared into his carefully crafted face and as his tears fell my will fell with them. I gave them both a dollar, proving not only I was a liar but a soft-hearted tourist. After they jogged away happily an older Ecuadorian man shook his head at me.

We spent last week in Papallacta because our trip to Mindo had been thwarted by road blockage caused by the April rain. Next week I am going to Galapagos Islands where I have been promised giant turtles, komodo dragons, and pink dolphins. I have been promised! I am not quite sure what adventures await me but I believe they involve snorkeling, scuba diving, and drinking perfect piña coladas. The giant nerd side of me really hopes their will be some sort of Darwin tribute there. I will be certain to document my experience when time permits. Stay tuned for my next post, "They Promised Me Turtles."

Brevity and Chicken Feet

As it is mandatory for my internship to document my Ecuadorian experience in the virtual world, I decided I had procrastinated much too long. A great many things have happened, both unfortunate and wonderful, but for the sake of brevity and the interests of my readers, I will try and keep it short.


Ecuador is fantastic. It´s cheap, warm, has so many adventures to offer, and surprisingly, it is extremely easy to get around. I have been working in a hospital for a couple of weeks, both in emergency and in gynecology. I believe it is safe to say that the latter will not be my expertise, and also that if I ever questioned the direction of my sexuality, that curiosity has been obliterated. 


I have yet to spend a weekend in Quito. I consider Quito my work city, not because it doesnt have countless amounts of things to do, but because I have more interest in nature than in city wonders, and because I get plenty of civilization back in the States. My first weekend was spent in Tena, where I canoed along the Amazon river, saw numerous amounts of (what I consider) exotic animals, and hiked through the jungle. I don´t need to go into the details of how wonderful it was. My second weekend was spent in Otavalo, which is a small tourist city with a huge, cheap outdoor market. Shopping isnt an area of interest to me, and I found this experience to be so-so. Though it was very quaint.


The food here can be both wonderful and downright nauseating. Though I appreciate the indigenous practice of eating all parts of an animal, I cant seem to overcome the dizzy feeling I get when I am served chicken feet in my soup. I realize this is cultural and that the feet are probably just as nutritious and savory as the breast, but it really freaks me out. I have hence planned to request "¿Podria tener mi sopa sin pata, por favor?" (Could I get my soup without feet, please?") It is human nature to speak primarily of negative experiences, but overall, the food here is wonderful, though vegetables are scarce.


My Spanish is more than sufficient. Fortunately, people speak quite clearly here, although some do not seem to understand the desperate request, "¿hablas mas despacio, por favor?" which, in case you don´t know, means "could you speak slower, please?" They just stare at you stupidly for a second, certainly mirroring your own dumbfounded expression, and then repeat themselves as rapidly as they did before. I have since found it much easier, for both the spanish speaker and myself, to walk away. Most individuals, however, are more than willing to accomodate your infintile knowledge of their language.


This weekend I will be traveling to Mindo with friends from my internship (of whom I have become rather close), where I will be zip lining over the valleys (not just one zip line, but many connected zip lines that will take me across the city) and hiking in the "Cloud Forest," which I have yet to fully understand. I will keep you updated next week.